Daytime TV Sucks

I've really been slow to readjust to life at home since returning from the hospital. I've been in a lot of pain and have been having anxiety over the accident and what it's done to me. Feeling pretty sorry for myself. Not cool, I know, but there it is.

Today is the first day I've felt so-called normal in a while. I've still got pain, and my left foot is swelling so much I still can't use the wheel chair, so I'm stuck on the sofa with my feet propped up on pillows. But, my spirits are high and I'm finally seeing that this is a temporary problem that I simply need to overcome. My old, happy self is beginning to reemerge.

Len showed me what was left of my old scooter key this morning and I freaked out a little bit. I really need to wait to view the artifacts of the accident until after I'm walking, I think. I'm still too close to it, I guess. I really didn't expect the emotional stuff I've been feeling: Nightmares, anxiety, fear, over-dependence on Len. Oh, and I can't bear to watch hospital dramas on TV. Actually, any kind of violence on TV throws me into a fearful frame of mind. I'm surprised about this, but I'll get over it eventually. In the meantime, I just need to heal.

My calve muscles are completely atrophied so I need to continue losing weight or I'll break my legs all over again when I try to walk again! I have no idea how much weight I've lost since I can't stand on a scale, but the pictures Len took throughout this ordeal show a clearly dwindling Megan. Like my friend, Kitty, said to me in the hospital: At least I'll get something good out of this accident!

Some people have asked that I explain what happened and where I stand today, so here goes:

On March 26, a little after 5p.m., I was on my scooter on my way to Target to pick up a package of my favorite underwear (sorry if that's too much information) before going to my second job at the best yarn store in the South, Knitch, when I missed my turn onto Rocky Ford Road and in an instant made a terrible mistake and ran head-on into an SUV. Scooter vs. SUV: SUV won. Both Len and I think the SUV driver and I tried to avoid the collision and the SUV clipped my left hip, likely breaking my pelvis, and knocking me off the bike. The SUV and driver were unhurt, thankfully. A doctor and a nurse stopped to help and the nurse found my cell and called "home" from the accident scene and I actually spoke to Len from the wreckage (of course I don't remember it). Len caught up with me at the emergency room at Atlanta Medical Center where I was still attached to the sandwich boards and neck brace yelling that I was hit by an SUV, why wasn't anyone helping me. Thankfully, they administered painkillers early and I have no recollection of this verbal rampage.

I spent 3 1/2 weeks in the hospital: Underwent one knee surgery to repair my right tibia just under my knee; three surgeries on my left pelvis to rebuild what was left; and a small surgery to prevent strokes and other unfortunate things during my stay in the hospital. My left foot has what is called "foot drop," which means I can't lift my toes or ankle, and I wear an extraordinarily heavy boot on that foot to prevent permanent damage to my heal cord. When I am walking again, the doctors believe I'll regain control over that foot. I do exercises all the time to help re-teach my toes to lift, but have had no luck so far. If, when I go to stand in 4-6 weeks and I still feel pain in my left hip, they'll do a full-on hip replacement. Cross your fingers, toes, eyelids, whatever that I don't need more surgery!

I'm still not comfortable with the gory details of the accident and not just ready to publish the series of pictures. They are pretty hard to view, so when I do get to publishing those images, I'll make a big note at the top of the page.

I'm tired now, so I'll come back to this in a day or two. I do actually have a few really funny stories I'd like to share, it wasn't all bad.