Thursday, September 07, 2006

Patsy Coleman, Rest in Peace

My aunt Patsy died on Saturday of Lou Gehrig's Disease, ALS.

Patsy was a lot of things: a mother, a wife, a housewife, a rape victim, a psychic, and a bit of a nutjob. When I was a kid, I thought she was the coolest person alive.

She and my mother were pretty close when I was a young child, and I remember her family coming to visit us a lot and our family going to visit hers a lot. Mom and Patsy and I would go for weekend trips -- just us girls -- where they would smoke and gossip and connive about the family and the world and I'd listen in. To my young ears, theirs were the most interesting conversations I'd ever heard. That's how I learned about my family history. It was during those conversations that I learned how my sister Paula was my half sister and that her mother died giving birth to her and her twin, who also died during the birth. I learned about my mother's first husband and the father of my sister Sunny and brother Patrick (Skeeter). We went to the grave site of my mother's first love. I believe his name was Bill and he died relatively young, maybe 40. I doubt my mom even remembers that I was there with her on all those trips. I just quietly tagged along because I thought those two women together were fascinating.

In fact, I can see a lot of parallels between their relationship and my own relationships with my women friends.

When I was around 8 years old, Patsy started talking a lot about reincarnation and psychic powers -- as in, she claimed she had them. And, she'd give me and mom readings and I swear I believed every word she uttered. I still remember her teaching me how to gather positive energy with my hands. My father was pretty sick at the time, and slept with an oxygen tank next to his bed. For years, I'd go into his bedroom at night after he fell asleep and gather all the positive energy I could and push it toward him. I thought I was helping him and in some way it made me feel good. I was so grateful she tought me how to do something for him.

Patsy came to visit us once unexpectedly and there was always a cloud of secrecy over that trip. She'd been injured and mom told us Patsy had been mugged. I was an adult before I realized she'd been raped and came to mom for support and comfort. That's still a topic my mom doesn't discuss.

We eventually moved too far away from Patsy to continue to visit so often, and she and my mom lost touch and never again were as close.

The last time I saw Patsy was in Ann Arbor Michigan. She and mom came to visit not long after Len and I got married. We were living in the rented green house on Fifth Street then, and they only stayed the night. She looked great and they were both happy.

About six months ago, mom told me about the ALS. I always meant to call or write Patsy, but never got around to it. Now she's gone.

I don't believe in reincarnation and the afterlife or psychic powers anymore, but I know you still did, Patsy. If I'm wrong and you can get this message, I've missed you, Aunt Patsy. Whether you knew it or not, you were a huge influence in my life.

Rest in peace, you crazy woman.

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